It's never too early to begin planning your Halloween costume, especially if you are looking ahead to 2010's Halloween! By planning now, you can avoid the ultimate societal faux pas of showing up at a Halloween party dressed exactly like a fellow party person.
Of course, if there are more than two of you showing up in Harry Potter costumes (let's assume we are living in 1997 for a minute...), then the social misgivings are lifted and it becomes humorous. The humor factor is exponentially increased as the amount of Potters in the room increases. There is a cap on this caveat, however, at five Harry Potters. Any more than that and it becomes simply ridiculous and you should all be ashamed of yourselves!
Harry Potter would have been a fine costume idea in the late-nineties, and an absolutely perplexing costume in the early-nineties, but time has moved on and so should you! Fortunately, I am here to not only provide my wisdom, but also enhance your Halloween costume party experience (I am nothing if not generous!).
Here are the top five Halloween costumes:
5. 42nd Vice President of these United States, Walter Mondale. The Mondale costume is one that had been popular with all the young, hip kids during the mid-nineties. This Halloween season, though, retro is back in and you will be a beacon of fashion costumed as this fine man.
To assemble your costume, dress in a conservative suit. Tie your, um, tie properly in a timeless squared-knot. Accentuate with a pair of glass, but keep them simple or risk being labeled unauthentic by all those history buffs out there.
Advantage: A Halloween costume like this shows you mean business... with your Halloween costumes! Also, your impeccable history knowledge will make you the belle of the ball.
Disadvantage: Should you go to a Halloween party with the actual Walter Mondale, things could get rather awkward. It would be thoroughly confusing for all the guests. Perhaps you should continue reading the list...
4. Ghost. This novel approach most likely has never been done before, but, since ghosts are clearly pale, use a white sheet and cut two holes out for your eyes (we can't have you stumbling blindly through the Halloween party!). By following this original Halloween costume technique, you will actually look like a ghost and scare the dickens out of the other guests.
Advantage: Your costume is guaranteed to be the most realistic and authentic at any Halloween party. Plus, it is tremendous fun to say "boo."
Disadvantage: Terrifying all the other guests may leave you alone in a large room with a tub of apples bobbing in water and "The Monster Mash" playing on a nearby stereo. Additionally, if anyone thinks the year is still 1984 and comes dressed as a "Ghostbuster," you could run into some issues if they shoot you with their proton pack.
3. Ghostbuster. If either of the top two Halloween costume options on this list do not appeal to you (and how could they not... they're the top two options!), give some thought towards going as one of Director Ivan Reitman's Ghostbusters. Simply don a dark beige jumpsuit, apply some clever patches, and build a fully-functioning proton pack (just be careful not to cross the streams with any fellow Ghostbusters...).
Advantage: If any ghost shows up at the Halloween party, you can bust them.
Disadvantage: Your odds of being "slimed" are significantly increased by choosing this option. Consider yourself warned.
2. The Hamburglar. A Halloween costume like this satisfies two of the typical Americans great interests: fast food hamburgers and crime.
Americans love crime stories. If there is any doubt to this, check out the viewer stats for Nancy Grace.
Americans love fast food hamburgers, especially McDonald's. If there is any doubt to this, consider the fact that McDonald's was never in any jeopardy due to the recent economic "corrections" (this column is supposed to be light-hearted, so the phrase "complete and devastating collapses, which resulted in tons of pain, suffering, and lost jobs" was not used...).
Combine the two great interests and attend the premiere Halloween parties costumed as everyone's favorite, on the lam, and ever-stylish (with the red tie, et al.), hamburger addict!
Advantage: You can spend all night eating burgers and saying "robble, robble."
Disadvantage: If any cops from the 1940's come around, they will surely recognize the black and white horizontal stripes as typical prison fashion from their time (in spite of the tie, hat, and mask... options which were simply not available at your typical federal penitentiary) and may throw you back in the slammer. While in the pen, you will be faced with a wide array of the most horrible dangers and assaults. Of course, the risk is definitely worth it for the ability to spend your Halloween walking around saying "robble, robble."
1. Santa. This doesn't even need explanation.
Advantage: Wearing the coolest Halloween costume should be enough advantage, but the popularity you will gain from dressing like the jolliest man on Earth will aid in your career (expect a huge promotion), love life (your significant other will be super turned on), and stop hair loss (one can assume...). You just might even be able to broker world peace, provided your costume is authentic enough!
Disadvantage: None.
Halloween Costumes 2010
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